


short stories

by Cookie23872



Category: Real life - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, BDSM, Depression, Eating, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, Food Issues, Friendship, Hate, Helpless, Hopeless Romantic, Imagination, Insanity, Insecurity, Inspired by Real Events, Love, Reality, Romance, Sex, Smut, Violence, hopeless, unrealistic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 20:29:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14089050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cookie23872/pseuds/Cookie23872
Summary: Little snippets of my life and imaginary ones, can you guess which are which?





	short stories

**Author's Note:**

> Real or fake?

I hardly feel as though it is fair, I can say the only thing I know for sure about my life is that I had drawn the short straw, I was dealt the losing hand of life. My need to succeed had diminished by the time I was in fifth grade, I lost my fight, I gave up on trying to do something with my life. I decided that I would breath and stay alive, but I knew that I would never truly be alive again. Hating the way I looked by the time I was in seventh grade, wishing for myself to wither away with the wind. Still holding in for my mother, hoping that one day it would all become better. Eighth grade was better, I felt my life begin to pull itself together, I was finally truly breathing again, but I can’t say that lasted very long, I was locking myself in the bathroom, praying for whatever god there was to just end my suffering already.  
Ninth grade is just a blur, I can’t remember exactly what happened, I know I was unhappy. 

I was suffering a silent battle with myself, trying to win the losing battle I so desperately needed to win, I couldn’t hold up the defence much longer. It was tearing away at everything I had to not crumble with simply the looks of people. The words I blocked out, I knew they were meant to hurt me, I knew I wasn’t liked, I knew I didn’t fit in. I didn’t need somebody I didn’t know telling me what rolls around my head daily. I am worthless, nobody would miss me if I was gone, I just need to bite the bullet already. I knew this wasn’t true, I knew my family loved me, but I couldn’t stop the words in my mind. I held on.

Tenth grade took a toll on not only my mind but my body, this is when my struggle with my health really started. You know how you have a friend that is just such a toxic person for you, but you can’t see that until it is to late. That is when I met her, my old friend, we were basically the same person. Being friends with all your bad qualities is never a good thing, we would connect on all the worse parts of our lives, we would bond over the hate we felt for ourselves. Competitiveness sprung between us, I was never a competitive person, but I had to be better then her in some way, the same went for her. Like I said we bought the worst out of one another. We battled over who could eat the least, we battled over who weighed the least, who was the most depressed. I hit my lowest point with my body during this point I lost to much weight in a short amount of time, I still haven’t fully recovered, I still fight with food, I still fight with myself. 

Eleventh grade and we weren’t friends, I can’t remember why, my mum always said it was because she developed feeling in more than a friendship way, I wouldn’t put it past her. By the end of the first term was coming to an end, we forgave and forgot. We feel back into our old patterns. By the end of the second term, something happened that is either seen as the best thing that happened in my life because of the things that lead afterwards, or the worst because of the same reasons. All I can say for sure is that it was my lowest point for more then one reason. 

We had had a few drinks, we went to bed. We had always had this thing about us, I don’t know if it was just a made-up thing, but the imaginary tension was there. So, to end it I kissed her, she seemed to like it a lot because, after not even a minute she was on top of me, almost begging to lick me out. I am a horny person, but I didn’t really want to but I didn’t want to embarrass her, so I agreed. One thing lead to another and she was between my legs, not doing to great but I can pretend so I did. This whole thing lasted over an hour, left unsatisfied and knowing almost in certain that I was straight. I left that morning as though it was a one-night stand. That was the end of that friendship and eventually the lead to my schooling ending earlier then it should have. 

Still fighting the battle I have leant to manage for an extent, but not in a whole.

**Author's Note:**

> Real or fake?


End file.
